Monday, February 14, 2011

Monday Morning Falcons Hangover

This is the guy who's supposed to coach Matt Ryan?

Falcons Fumble on QB Coach Hire

I wrote here that the Mike Smith and Thomas Dimitroff had a chance to make a bold move with their choice for QB Coach for the Falcons, that they could bring in an offensive mind with a fresh perspective, someone willing to offer a new voice and perhaps signal a move away from the ultra-conservative, vanilla, play-not-to-lose offensive philosophies that Mike Smith cherishes, but that has doomed the team in games that matter. I was looking for someone like Ryan’s former college coach Jeff Jagodzinski to get the job. Instead, Smith and Dimitroff hire recently fired former Cincinnati offensive coordinator Bob Bratkowski for the crucial job of further developing Matt Ryan as his QB Coach.

And all I can say to that is, ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?

Bob Bratkowski is perhaps the single-worst hire the Falcons could’ve made. He has never been a QB Coach, on any level, college or pro. His trade as an assistant has been as a wide-receivers coach.

In his NFL career as an offensive coordinator working with the Seahawks and the Bengals, his offenses have finished in the lower half of the league more than half the time. As an offensive coordinator, he’s had some of the NFL’s biggest QB disappointments under his wing in Rick Mirer and Carson Palmer. This is a man ill suited to bring out the best in Matt Ryan, and this hire is yet again proof of Mike Smith’s play-it-safe, play-not-to-lose football philosophy.

Mike Smith went for the guy with a lot of time in the NFL, who doesn’t make waves, who does a job, but doesn’t necessarily do it well. Mike Smith hired a guy who isn’t going to challenge his or Mularkey’s insane Martyball philosophies that have kept the Falcons from winning games that matter. Mike Smith hired a guy who is vanilla, when the Falcons needed someone who is rocky road.

The worst thing about this hire is that this guy, who’s never been a QB Coach, is supposed to shepherd Ryan, supposed to be the guy Ryan can lean on in practices and in games. How the hell can Bob Bratkowski, wide receivers coach and middling offensive coordinator for two teams, by that guy for Ryan? This is the guy who ran offenses featuring Rick Mirer and Carson Palmer for crying out loud!

What a horrible hire by Mike Smith, Thomas Dimitroff and the Falcons organization. This is not the kind of message this coach or this organization needs to sending to paying fans after losing another playoff game in which the team was favored.

How terribly disappointing.

Seven Things I Know

1) With all apologies to @WhitlockJason and his personal crusade against the Pro Football Hall of Fame voting practices, but this righteous indignation that people seem to have both against and for the way it’s currently handled is ridiculous. It’s ridiculous because it won’t change. It won’t change because there people who have power, and they’re not going to do anything to give it up. Not Peter King. Not Len Pasquarelli. None of these guys are going to demand or seek changes. This is the same group who refused to vote in Art Monk for years; who discounted exactly why he was so valuable to his team and worthy of HOF honors.

Art Monk was the heart and soul of the Washington Redskins. He was their unquestioned leader on three Super Bowl winning teams, and on each of those teams, he caught passes from a different QB, meaning that QB was an interchangeable part for those teams, but Monk was truly indispensable in the locker room and on the field. Peter King argued for years that Monk didn’t deserve to be in the HOF because he was only a stat compiler, that his catches never averaged as much yards as Rice or Largent. King refused to dig any deeper, to find out what each and every catch meant for his team, like how Monk led the league at times in catches for first downs, and first down catches on third downs.

These guys who vote for the HOF are ridiculous; they hold grudges, they’re petty... they’re human. So when guys like Jason Whitlock crusade against “unfair” practices of voting for the Pro Football HOF on behalf of a player like Willie Roaf, I just can’t seem to care, because while the system is broken, there just isn’t anything anyone is going to do about it. Wailing about this particular system of HOF voting adds up to sound and fury, signifying... nothing.

2) Roger Goodell needs to shut Jerry Richardson up, and he needs to do it quickly before he turns public opinion against the owners. Men like Jerry Jones, Arthur Blank, and Robert Kraft need to be the voices heard from the owners; men who built billion-dollar businesses from nothing. Short-tempered blowhards like Jerry Richardson, who is one of the cheapest owners in the league, does not need to be speaking to players, the press, or the guys at the coffee shop about labor issues.

3) We haven’t heard a peep in a few days from De Smith. That’s smart. Keep it up, NFLPA.

4) Brett Favre on Dancing with the Stars would be a disaster. Here’s some proof as to why.

5) Cam Newton’s “media-only” workout, which was brokered by his father Cecil Newton, has to put Cecil in the running for Pimp of the Year, 2010-2011 pimping season. I mean, first he tries to pimp his son for $180,000 to Mississippi State, now he’s pimping his son to ESPN and SportsIllustrated. Cecil gotta keep his pimp hand strong! Stay away, Panthers. Stay away.

6) I think if the Cardinals don’t want to lose Larry Fitzgerald and half of their season ticket base, they need to throw their high second round pick at the Eagles for Kevin Kolb. Before March 4th would be good.

7) Weekends without football SUCK.

Today in History

On 14 February 1859, the State of Oregon came into being, the 33rd state in the Union. From the Snake River, to the beautiful Pacific Ocean, Oregon straddles mountains and plains both. Oregon was founded as a state of refuge from the question of slavery, in fact, Oregon’s original Constitution only allowed for “white” habitation, so that slaves could not be brought into the state.

If any of y’all have never been to Oregon, I highly recommend taking a trip there, exploring the Pacific Northwest. I’m partial to both Western Oregon and Washington, and the cities of Portland and Seattle, two of the best, most interesting cities you’ll ever find in the United States, not to mention the cleanest.

Film Real

Today is a good day to go out and pick a film about love, whether it be a timeless classic such as Casablanca or My Fair Lady, or perhaps a funnier take on the subject matter, such as one of my favorites: When Harry Met Sally…

Even if you’re alone, suffering through another St. Valentine’s Day without someone to love, someone to kiss, or someone to hold, you can throw in Bonnie and Clyde, and see the crazy that love can make people do, and be happy to not be in love at the moment.

The fact is, romance films, specifically, romantic comedies are seen in modern times as, well, crap, and that’s not the true case at all. I know it seems that way, what with the proliferation of horrible romcoms staring Sandra Bullock or “romantic” films about fey vampires that glow in sunlight instead of bursting into flames like proper vampires should when exposed to sunlight. These films are poorly acted, poorly scripted, poorly plotted, and poorly paced. They speak down to their audience because the people who make them think we're stupid. Yet women and teen girls (an insane sub-species of human) continue to eat them up like candy, because they’re all Hollywood offers.

Instead of watching Twilight or The Proposal today with your girlfriend or boyfriend, why not turn on Netflix Instant Watch and watch His Girl Friday, starring Cary Grant and Rosalind Russell, instead? It’s a smart film, and you’d be much smarter for watching it instead of the lame Sandra Bullock-Hugh Grant-ReneĆ© Zellwegger movie you were probably going to watch. Yes, it is in black and white, but it’s funny, it’s romantic, and above all, it’s a good film that doesn’t assume you’re a moron. Trust me. You won’t be sorry.

Smart Quote

In honor of St. Valentine’s Day, an apropos quote (used frequently in the film Moulin Rouge!):

The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return.

eden ahbez, Nature Boy (1948)

Hey, Check This Out!

Here’s a clip from His Girl Friday. This is an outstanding film that happens to also be a romantic comedy. I know, we’ve been taught by a mountain of modern romcom crap that this is impossible, but it’s true. Check it out. The snappy, rapid-fire dialogue, the chemistry, it’s all there.

And please, don’t forget to follow me on Twitter at @UGABugKiller. Thanks!

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