Monday, January 31, 2011

Monday Morning Falcons Hangover

Hey, did you know NFL players played a game, and no one, not even the guys in the game, cared?

Yeah, the Pro Bowl. Yawn.

The big news ‘round these parts, or, you know, at least how they pertain to me and y’all, my dozens of readers, is that I’ve decided on how to format my columns / posts / rantings / ravings / whatever you want to call’em.

As I’m sure many of y’all have noticed, I post in the mornings, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I had one “breaking news” post regarding the Falcons losing their QB coach, and will write blog posts like that when the occasion presents itself, but I decided that since I have a fairly easy to follow schedule, I should have some kind of reliable format to help me write, to make it fun to read, and basically, every hack writing about the NFL has a schtick, and this will be mine in as much as I’m not the first to do such things, nor will I be the last.

My Monday columns will be known as Monday Morning Falcons Hangover (if you hadn't already noticed). During the season, the main story will of course by my op-ed take on the Falcons’ most recent Sunday Game. I’m sure I’ll be writing a short, facts-and-stats-based recap of game soon after it’s over, but the Monday post will be my opinion on what went wrong, what went right, etc.

After that, on Mondays only, I’ll post The Seven Things I Know in the NFL. The fun part is, this section won’t always be Falcons related, so it lets me spread my NFL wings a bit.

I’ll be calling my Wednesday posts: Wednesday Football Two-A-Days, because I’ll not only write about the Falcons, but about the Georgia Bulldogs Football team, the SEC, or college football in general for that true, Southern taste of football life.

My Friday columns will be called: Thank Goodell It’s Friday! Yeah, I know, cheesy. I’ll write about what the Falcons need to do to win that weekend’s game, and then I will give my full slate of predictions.

After the Seven Things on Monday, the College Football on Wednesday, and the Predictions on Friday will come the bits I’ll do for all three days I write. First up is Today In History. I love history. I love how history is a cycle that repeats itself. I am two classes shy of obtaining my history degree from UGA. I want to teach history. It’s fairly self-explanatory. I’m going to find an interesting piece of historical trivia and share it with y’all. Learning is fun!

After the seven things will come Film Real on Mondays, TV Dinners on Wednesdays, and The Jukebox on Fridays. I love movies, some tv shows, and music as much as I do sports, and I’ll share some of that with y’all.

After that comes Smart Quotes, which are some of my favorite quotes from famous (or infamous) people throughout time.

And I’ll finish my scheduled posts with Hey, Check This Out! which is the expression used most to rope unsuspecting bystanders into seeing some cool or funny video on YouTube. I will post said video for your enjoyment / amusement.

Alright, now that y’all have the roadmap for how this is going to work from now on, let’s roll.

The Seven Things I Know in the NFL

1) It makes total sense that MeAngelo Hall wins the MVP of a game predicated on individual skill and talent, and not meshing that skill and talent within the concept of TEAM.

2) If Commissioner Goodell and the owners want to make the Pro Bowl meaningful in any way (which would improve ratings), they would do away with paying the losers of the game and only pay the winners. All players get the trip to Hawai’i, but only winners take home a check for $50,000.

3) If I were David Akers, there is no way in HELL I could ever play for Andy Reid again. Not when Andy Reid knew what he knew, and still blamed Akers for the loss against the Packers. Just an inexcusable lack of tact from a coach who is able to find the time to coddle a dog-killing sociopath, but has no room in his heart for a father with a cancer-stricken child.

4) Megatron would look awfully nice in Falcons’ red after the 2013 season.

5) I know it was against a base defense (kind of like what Mike Smith has the Falcons play all of the time), but Matt Ryan can cut it loose longer than 20 yards. I hope Smitty & Mularkey were paying attention Sunday.

6) Anyone willing to pay $200 to stand outside Cowboys Stadium to watch the Super Bowl on what amounts to a big television is a fool, not worthy of his or her money.

7) The Green Bay Packers “PictureGate” is the kind of distraction that can derail a team’s drive for a title. Not good, Cheeseheads. Not good at all.

Today in History

On 31 January 1865, the United States Congress formally passed the 13th Amendment to the Constitution, abolishing slavery for all states in the Union, including those in rebellion. This Amendment was deemed necessary by President Lincoln, because the Emancipation Proclamation was mostly a symbolic gesture that would have no power under Constitutional Law once the Civil War was concluded, and did not include the Border States, such as Kentucky. The 13th Amendment paved the way for American life as we know it today; suffrage for all, black, white, men, women. For Jackie Robinson breaking the color barrier in baseball. For the Civil Rights Movement. For an America that can elect a President who is a black American (whether he was actually worthy of those votes is another debate entirely NOT for this discussion). The 13th Amendment was a triumph of the goodness men can do. Let us be grateful today for the the anniversary of that momentous occasion.

Film Real

Late winter (after football season) is a great time to catch up on films that we wanted to see during football season, but perhaps never got around to due to real life (errands, chores, Honey-Do Lists, Holidays, etc) getting in the way.

A fun, well-reviewed film that was released at the end of the summer / beginning of autumn, Red, is a tale of retired CIA Agents played by Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman, John Malkovich, and Helen Mirren, who have become a liability for the Agency, so they send their best “cleaner,” played by Karl Urban (Star Trek, The Lord of the Rings), to take care of the problems those four pose.

Red is sharply written, with a witty sense of humor and crack comic timing displayed by the leads, who are even more impressive with their action work. Also, look for Brian Cox (X-Men 2, The Bourne Supremacy) in an extended cameo as a former KGB Agent. The film was recently released on DVD, and you can find it at a RedBox, from Netflix, on demand, or on iTunes. I recommend this film for pretty much anyone who’s a fan of smart action films in the vein of the last two James Bond films, or the first Die Hard film. Trust me, you won’t be sorry.

Smart Quotes

Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our hardnesses yield, all our irritations and resentments flit away and a sunny spirit takes their place.

Mark Twain, 1897

Hey, Check This Out!

The video is kind of grainy (okay, it’s very grainy), but this is by far the funniest moment in Late Night with Conan O’Brien’s history. Man, do I miss the Walker Texas Ranger Lever. Damn you, NBC for holding the rights to all of Conan's old bits as well as the video rights of Walker Texas Ranger! (And yes, that IS Haley Joel Osment)

Follow me on Twitter at @UGABugKiller

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